​How much more can your life expand if you stopped judging yourself and others, and purely operated from your Soul?

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How does life get any better than where you are now?

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It’s really me speaking, by the way, and not a story from AI.  I know it’s a bit of long read.  But I encourage you to read it and feel the depths of my mission.  If you want to understand who I am, how I can help, and why most of my clients come to me, listen and feel as you read. ​​

 

Most of my clients come to me because they:​

 

 

 

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​Born the Black Sheep and the Scapegoat.

Shamed. Blamed. Ostracised.
Too sensitive. Too bitchy.  Too intense. Too shy.

Not humble enough.  Not ambitious enough. 

 

Being extremely sensitive to other people’s pain and not understanding the lack of kindness within people, I took on the belief that “it must be me – it’s my fault.”  There was no support – or safety.  I learned from a very early age I had zero value being a girl, teen, and woman.

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Basically, not worthy enough...of much at all.

 

Once the "Black Sheep” who carried inherited trauma and survival identities, in my own journey through misogyny and narcissistic, emotional, financial, and sexual abuse, I learned early how to survive at the extremes of wounded feminine and wounded masculine. 

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The first: the people-pleaser, doormat, the one who had to save everyone to be "safe" – even if it meant the sacrifice of my body, mind, and soul. 

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The second: demanding, controlling, stand-offish, strong, and hyper-vigilant – the over-responsible Lone Wolf to be even "safer" than before. 

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The shape-shifting between the extremes was a gruelling battle for survival through turbulent relationships, severe physical and emotional issues, and a true identity crisis.  And this pattern – I carried this pattern for most of my life.  At no time did I ever feel safe or like I fit in – with work, culture, family, or friends.  At no time – literally no time in my life – did I feel I had adequate support from other people.  I also could not own a healthy sense of power – either I gave it away, or I dug in my heels and stood way too strong – neither of which was empowering and caused rifts with others.  So, it’s not surprising that I experienced deep isolation and betrayal wounds, leading to (self-diagnosed) Complex PTSD and hyper-vigilance.  And so…life was challenging, unfulfilling, and lonely.

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I felt compelled – especially after my mother died in 2004 – to pour myself into healing work, even taking the “right” trainings to help – Spiritual Psychotherapy, Hypnotherapy, Reiki, Ancestral Healing…I made small breakthroughs at a time, but also fell backwards – like a cruel never-ending game of snakes and ladders.  With so much confusion about my identity, expectations from others, my inner knowing, lack of support, and inherited trauma, I could never know who I really was, why I was here, or understand what kind of sick joke the Universe was playing without giving me the rules. 

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With everything going on in my marriage, separation, and finally, divorce, as well as not believing I was ready to be any kind of therapist, I then dove into my Fitness, Yoga, Movement career.  Aside from being a “hand-on” mom of two young girls, this is where my identity, social life, and perceived fulfilment came from for a long while.  I continued spiritual healing on my own and took the courses here and there.  Clarity came in short waves.  And moments of feeling free – but even those were fleeting.  Joy, connection, and personal fulfilment came as "teasers" between years of repeated Dark Nights of the Soul.

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Having a heavy fear of passing on inherited trauma to my children, over time I did what many self-aware women do – I became intelligent about healing: Energy work. Affirmations. Inner child and parts work. Shadow work. Past-life regression. Nervous system education. New Age rituals. Astrology.  Human Design.  Family Constellations.  Plant medicine.  Masculine and feminine healing.  Forgiveness work.  I learned and did it all.

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Life started working…until it didn’t.

I started trusting myself…until I couldn’t.

I faced loss and found the gifts…until they made me bleed.

I chose better people…until they left or betrayed me.

I stopped the addictions…until I was consumed with fear.

 

And so, the patterns repeated:

The wrong men.

The wrong friends.

The endless power struggles.

The over-giving and under-receiving.

The financial explosions.

The endless physical aches, pains, and digestive issues.
The survival beneath the spirituality.

The self-loathing.

The guilt and self-criticism.

The alienation.

The exhaustion.

The collapse.

The rise.

 

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

 

Then suddenly in 2022, my body brought me to my knees.  A debilitating injury that progressively worsened, leaving me in chronic pain and limitation for years.  I could barely walk.  I couldn't do my hair or cook for myself.  It was pure agony.  Not knowing the true cause or cure left me in emotional and physical turmoil.  I spent exorbitant amounts of money at first with alternative treatments – which helped a small amount at a time – then, out of sheer desperation, more time and energy poured into doctors, specialists, therapies, and other treatments. As expected, the medical system wanted to manage my pain.  Thousands of dollars in treatment and deep spiritual work – the masculine approach of "do more, try harder, push through".  It took almost two years for me to realize that I had to surrender.  Not conceptually – completely.  I had to allow what was happening – the feminine approach.  I allowed myself to feel everything.  To accept that I may never return to "normal.”  To accept that life as I knew it was over – my body, my mind, my career – the only things that I always depended on to be secure.  And…accepting that I was facing a massive financial crisis…again. 

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What else was left to do but invite extreme compassion in?  I had already done everything else.  Now, I had to allow others to help me – despite my resentment to the situation.  I had to work through my God wounds (masculine wounding).  To feel the anger and resentment of not being able to help myself.  To literally feel being an “invalid” because I repressed and suppressed the feeling of being “in-valid” most my whole life!  And most of all…I had to accept that everything that was happening to me was a result of my unhealed wounds.

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​I became still…

I was forced into an honest dialogue with The Highest Creator and a deeper connection with my Soul - in total surrender that my life would be permanently changed. 

 

Compassion for my body.

Compassion for my nervous system.

Compassion for the younger parts of me that adapted to survive.

Compassion for the soul fragments that carried inherited pain.

Compassion for the parts of me that blamed God.

Compassion for the parts that wanted to die.

 

I became even more still…

 

No more pushing.  No more fixing.  I stopped trying to think my way into healing.

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When I stopped fighting myself and surrendered the previous version of me, I chose to honour my body – my system began to soften.  And I learned to listen when she spoke.  I heard the cries of my mother and her mother and her mother…  The ancestors whose missions were left incomplete because the pain remained alive.  I felt the suffering of the animals…and the missing children.

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It was in that season – stripped of strength, independence, and control, and anchored in a deeper mission to end suffering – that I realized something radical: Much of what I was trying to heal…was never even mine.

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I began to sense (even more deeply) the energetic entanglements – cords, contracts, resentments, and unresolved pain within my field – a heaviness gripping to emotions and severely limiting beliefs I hadn't allowed myself to fully feel and see – manifesting as excruciating pain.  I thought I had worked through these layers over the years… but this time was different.  My body was not allowing surface-level healing.  There was no easy recourse.  And that is when it hit me…

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This was an initiation.

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The Holy Creator was calling me into leadership – to help others who were in pain and living far below what was possible for them.  Spirit showed me that my deep love for all of God’s creations – and my desire to end their suffering – had to begin with ending my own, and the suffering of the people who I was meant to serve.  Spirit showed me that if I wanted the cycles of ancestral pain to end with me, if I wanted to end the perpetual abuse and terrorization of children, if I wanted to end the abhorrent treatment of animals…

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I had to be the one I was waiting for.

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All of it had a purpose: the trauma, the pain, the confusion.

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It was all an initiation…from hell and back.

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From Black Sheep to Black Swan™.

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I began to understand something more profound. My personal pain story had a very rare gift in showing me that the depth of my perceived unworthiness was directly proportionate to the level of resilience and light required to guide others through a similar fire.  There was no mistake – I was always chosen for this work. 

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I felt extreme compassion – for my mission, and for the parts of me that couldn’t fully align with it until now.  I committed.  I embodied it.  And I returned to what was always true.

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I began to see clearly how identity forms around trauma – personal, ancestral, collective, karmic – and how spiritually conscious women stay trapped trying to fix what was inherited, absorbed, or conditioned.  I realized karmic patterns are held within the body – in bones tissues, and the nervous system – and that complete healing cannot occur while they remain.  I also became more aware of intrusive energies (entities) in my field and in others – forces that triggered, agitated, drained, and perpetuated cycles of pain – not only the ones that other healers cleared quickly through light but also the ones I allowed to take rein – they needed to be untangled and set free.  Adding simple breathwork and fascial release through movement supported the transformation unfolding in my body.

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All the years of spiritual healing…all the forgiveness work…the plant medicines…none of it could fully “land” without addressing these deeper layers – including transmuting the cords, contracts, energetic interference, as well as the points of view and creation of all my judgments and limiting beliefs – and finding compassion for all that is.

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This is where everything changed.  There is no New Age fluff or spiritual bypassing here.  I am in direct connection with Spirit when I work – and I help others heal through that connection.  My deepest desire is to invoke compassion for self first – then for others and eventually for all of God’s creations. 

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This is my mission. 

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My legacy. 

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This is everything.